Going into this journey, I held very few expectations. Being pregnant and a pagan was something I had no idea what to expect. What I have found so far is that pregnancy is a hell unto itself. Not for everyone but there is a lot to think about and go through, physically. On my end I had terrible nausea and gas pain for three months. My prenatal vitamin, which you must take, made me even sicker unless I take it at night and get 10 hours of sleep. I have never slept so much in my life. Not only do I need that much sleep but sometimes I get so drowsy in the afternoon I just close my eyes and wake up 3 hours later. And then needing to eat every 2 hours so my stomach doesn’t gripe up more.
So is the life of a human factory.
With all the physical and psychological things happening, I am so appreciative of my husband. He has been more than attentive since he found out. He doesn’t seem to notice but he has now taken to looking after me more. I am very blessed to have him looking out for me while I go through this.
On the spiritual side of things, there feels like a quiet patient hush around my practice. I am majorly distracted by the baby and sick body things, but no one seems to be upset by that kind of distraction. There is support and joy and love but its quiet. The feeling of “this is your job right now” permeates both my logical and spiritual senses. Not a terrible feeling but it leaves me restless.
That is my life right now. Still a strange process. In all of this, its been kind of lonely. Friends visit somewhat, but I have not had a in-depth conversation about anything mentally stimulating in months. Just a bit tired I guess.